I'm now going to American Leadership Academy, a charter school near my home. Most of the time I have to walk, but luckily, now that it is winter, I get a ride to school. I've met friends, I've made love (and some drama), I've excelled in my talents, I've tried to make it fun, and I've gone through a lot.
You already know about my summer. Luckily I explained that in the last posts, but what happened after that? Well, life happened. Or in other words, High School did. I thought my conflict with the move and the mission and the wedding was enough, but as soon as I was in the house, me and my little sister set off to school two weeks later.
School started on a bad start. I made tons of friends, I kept smiling, but deep inside, I wasn't telling them what was going on in the other parts of my life. One of them was the College History class I was (and still am) taking. Tenth graders weren't really supposed to be in that class, but because I did so, I found out why. The beginning of the year was a panic. Every night I had to study on an entire chapter so the next day we could get a test on it. The chapters were not short, it took me several hours just to understand what was happening, for at my other school, I had not learned how to do good study skills. It took me the entire semester to figure it out. I had failed quizzes and tests, I had retaken them, I had cried and prayed my heart out to pass the tests, I had tried different techniques to study until I had enough to pass that class. Now that it is second semester, I am no longer in panic mode, even with my history teacher telling us that we will be having double study time this semester. I got it down enough that I can handle this stress.
The other conflict is more personal. I will not get too far into this because it is more of my personal life that I would rather keep details to myself. I've told you about Derek, the cute boy that I have been googly eyed over the last four years. For so long, I was upset that I had to move away from him, but now that I have been away for over five months, I've lost that relationship. For several weeks, he called me and texted me, we kept in touch twenty-four seven. But that connection was lost when my dear friend fell into a sin. A sin that would warp his perspective on not only me, but girls in general. That entire time I kept in touch, he was going through that sin. I didn't know that, I didn't even know until one day, his mother called me. She told me what he had been up to and that I shouldn't talk to him again, if not for a very long time.
I cried myself to sleep that night.
Four months ago, I was upset at him, upset at his actions. He didn't only hurt himself, but he hurt his friends, his family and me. Now I'm glad I am not over there to see him, because I don't want to. Four months ago, I was going to wait until he got better, but now I no longer love him. I found out I never did have true love with him, it was just infatuation. A very strong liking toward another, but not true love.
I'm just going to end here, I'm tearing up. I was going to tell you more about what is going on right now, but I'll say that in the next post. I can't continue right now.